Maybe the first clue should have been that for a long time my favorite movie was The Exorcist (1973). And for a long time after it stopped being my favorite movie, I thought there was something seriously wrong with me for that to have been my favorite movie and for me to have watched it over 30 times, often alone. But lately (after living an ascetic life essentially as a female monk for 8 1/2 years), I got to investigating that mini-obsession/admiration.
What did I feel all those times that I watched and rewatched The Exorcist as a deeply afflicted young girl? Was it still scary after the first time? Was it even scary the first time? I don’t think so. It was familiar, though. It was fiction, I know that. It is fiction, but only in the way that all fiction is “just fiction.” Everything is rooted in reality, after all.
To my great comfort, then, I realized, after many years, that what made me love The Exorcist was not the horrible trauma a young girl goes through or the devilish imagery or the thrill horror might offer, but because ultimately, at its core, 1973’s The Exorcist is a story of light (weak, sometimes barely-there light coming from imperfect souls) triumphing over powerful, hot, wet, evil darkness. It’s a story of love, of not giving up on those you love, and yes, it’s a story where the presence of the divine is palpable and ultimately outshines in every way the presence of the devil.
Now, I’m not Christian. This isn’t a caveat. I actually do not ascribe to standard religious denominations at all. If you wanted to squeeze me under a label, you could say I’m a lover of the Bhagavad-gita and all that might mean. I do not conceive of the devil as what is depicted in general within Judeo-Christian practices/literature. Although, I must say, some of the art associated with these depictions is…beautiful, haha. (Hey, sorry, but part of understanding our divinity is knowing all is ultimately divine, even the devil).
I do however think the idea of the devil or of evil is very real. It’s more complicated and less complicated. And maybe I’ll get into it more later. Today, though, I want to share some practical things you can do if you feel in anyway touched by a sense of evil in your life.
This will be especially helpful to those who feel they live in, or have lived in, a haunted house. I was born into a haunted house and I grew up in a haunted house until I was about 5. When we left India for Canada, however, the ghosts followed us. Some beings of darkness are like that. They are not bound to a place so much as to you. Some of them are bound in beautiful ways or tragic ways and others in ways that will slowly drain you if you do not free yourself.
There was more than one presence in my haunted childhood home. For all I know, there might have been a hundred or more. Though this is misleading. All around us, there are presences good and “bad”, pure and “evil”. Some though are very comfortably situated in their own realities and do not bleed out into ours. It is the ones that do, however, whether partially or completely, that tend to affect us the most.
Some can be called upon. Some come hurtling through because they have unfinished business. Some are mysterious tricksters and will do whatever they please, whenever they please. All of them can be sent away if you can reclaim your highest sense of self.
Okay, without further ado then…1
Acknowledge what’s happening to yourself
… and to no one else (for the most part). If you do indeed have folks in your life that you completely and utterly trust and indeed would trust with your very life (& soul), then yes, heartily tell them, share every sordid detail. Hauntings, when shared with respect amongst humans who care for the other, lessen in their evil effects. Friendship heals the heart, and not just yours, but the ones doing the haunting too. If, however, like I didn’t then, you do not have such a person in your life, and indeed only have people who’d either never believe you or make fun of you or add any kind of negativity to an already awful situation, then keep it to yourself, but open yourself up to light and love and friendship and understanding in other ways, namely:
Call upon the divine
If you ascribe to a particular understanding of God, then that’s your way to call. If you do not, then close your eyes, light a candle, walk in nature, notice your breath, and call upon the divine within you. You are not matter, you are not the body, you are the universe and all that it is made of. The great divinity is there's for the taking for you, however you choose to reach for it.
Prepare your body and mind for lucid dreaming.
This can be a difficult undertaking and one you might not feel ready for, which is okay. You don’t have to do this, but it’s one of the most vital ways to free yourself of a haunting once and for all. However, do note that this requires great amounts of empathy for the being or presence that is haunting you. And empathy cannot grow where there is any kind of fear or discrimination. Lucid dreaming, also, can occur in two ways. One is spontaneous, where your body and mind automatically know that this is the time to enter this mystical state and you go to sleep normally one night but “wake up” for what might feel like hours or days or years or a timeless amount of time.
Or, the other way lucid dreaming occurs is, of course, with a lot of preparation and intention. And what is the goal of this lucid dreaming? Well, in this context, it’s to actually to turn the idea of the haunting around. As much as the haunting being is haunting you, so too are you haunting them. Now, in this lucid dream, your single goal is for you to help them see this, and thus build kinship before you ultimately let them go to their next phase of existence, whatever and wherever this may be, so long as it is completely cut off from you. You can see why this requires great empathy, and no fear, then. It often means interacting face to face with that entity, and thus opening up the possibility for a much more worrisome situation: a possession. But if you follow the previous two steps, I promise you that will not take place.
Learn where the haunting begins
Is it rooted in place? Your body? A particular set of experiences? Does it make its presence felt only at a certain time of day, after interacting with certain kinds of people? Take notes. Be introspective. Do not be afraid. Do not judge. This is important fieldwork. Write things down. Feel freedom in your hands as you put these realizations and observations on paper. It’s okay. Our ancestors have been dealing with hauntings for millennia. Everything will be okay. Become your own witch doctor.
Do not seek out gurus, mediums, psychics, cleansers, witches, realm readers, yogis, priests, etc.
Unless they appear in your life of their accord, that is. Oftentimes, even well-meaning spiritualists can fuck up a haunting and make things worse, what to speak of those driven by anything else but pure concern for you. I have lived through this, I do not recommend it. By all means, call upon your guides, ancestors, divine caregivers, but let them come at their own pace, or let them send you the courage you need to carve your own path out of the haunting.
Align deeper with your dharma, your life’s purpose
It’s a cliché for a reason: an idle mind is the devil’s workshop. The Sanskrit word dharma is sometimes popularly translated as “religion” but that is not the correct translation. The true meaning of “dharma” is your own life’s purpose. Align with this more, and move away from what is not your life’s purpose. I know, easier said than done, but it can be done, indeed, it is meant to be done. And remember that even things which may not immediately be your dharma but are stepping stones towards you being utterly aligned with your dharma, they are also a part of your dharma and deserve your full heart and soul and attention. This is perhaps the single post important thing here. More than anything, anything, anything, this will help in every way, mystically, slowly yes, but utterly and wholly.
I know we live in a very psychotherapy focused culture, in a way that I feel has become a farce of itself with Instagram, however I do not discount the help of doctors when it is needed. Personally, psychotherapy has never helped me with anything (I was in therapy for years as a kid and teenager) but that doesn’t mean it won’t help you. Just like you can take medicine for a cold and still do everything else you might need to that’s more “natural” to help you stay healthy, you can also take medication for the mind or engage in talk therapy. You’ll know soon enough if that can help you. Listen to yourself and allow God to guide you. Our lives are rooted in the mystical. Stay in the light. Know thyself. And so on.
I’m also someone who has lived with and encountered spirits throughout my entire life. Something a lot of people don’t know is that people can also be haunted (like you said the spirits followed you) but I would also highly suggest seeking out people who do know how to clear because calling upon the divine is NOT enough sometimes. Even the producers of these movies like the Exorcist and Conjuring movies have a real life exorcist on set. Because you do NEED someone who knows how to communicate with the entities and can clear them. Also it’s highly important to understand lucid dreaming in depth before practicing especially if you have entities attached to you or your home. I would recommend reading and learning from RH Stavis because she is someone who has cleared many people and homes. The hierarchy of entities ranges from small to very very large and there are some things you need more than just prayer to help with.