This is beautiful and haunting. Especially given the uncertainty of the revelation and the actions of the partner grabbing her like a child. Well done!
This is beautiful and haunting. Especially given the uncertainty of the revelation and the actions of the partner grabbing her like a child. Well done!
I loved the metaphors of the last paragraph, as it describes beautifully what we feel about the world, how it can transcend our body or reality. The image of the yellow sea with boats made of leaves, as the room gets flooded, will stick in my mind. Congratulations on your first story!
this is absolutely one of the most memorable pieces of flash fiction I’ve read. it was vivid, as though I was there too. also, I love how you talk about the artwork in relation to your story!
Oh... how.... quietly ferocious. The way the secret keeps trying to surface while intimacy keeps misfiring = delicious. The egg-as-planet image is unreal, tender and ominous, like something sacred and suspect being smuggled into the bed. I love how the ending doesn’t explain so much as lift, ceiling cracking, body filling with light, feels less like revelation and more like inevitability. Soft voice, huge consequences. Gorgeous and unsettling in exactly the right way. Thanks for sharing.
If you don't tell us her revelation in the next post we can't be friends anymore.
So beautifully written 💙
Hahahah you're the best, I love you! Thanks Shel. I WILL, okay I promise!!
This is beautiful and haunting. Especially given the uncertainty of the revelation and the actions of the partner grabbing her like a child. Well done!
This is beautiful and haunting. Especially given the uncertainty of the revelation and the actions of the partner grabbing her like a child. Well done!
Thank you Victoria!!! This means a lot. And glad you caught that detail haha.
Oh wow oh wow oh wow thank you substack for putting this in my feed
Awwwww THANKS Hana!!!
This is so beautiful 🥹
Thank you Nikita!!! 💙💙
I’m sure I’m exposing my ignorance, but I feel I should know what the thing is.
On the other hand, maybe it’s supposed to be mysterious - which it is.
Either way, it most certainly has what most stories don’t, and that’s depth.
Your writing is descriptive, yes - but, “poetic” is how I would describe it.
And the tie-in with the painting is a really cool component.
That is to say, the whole damn thing is fantastic.
Congratulations.
🙂
Haha until you said it was fantastic I thought you hated it lol, which would also be fine! Thank you Bobby!!
Didn’t mean to be dramatic.
Just wanted you to know I cared about your first piece.
🙂
Gorgeous 🩷
Thank you Sigrid!!
Like a scene in a movie. So expressive.
Oh wow, thank you Kylee!!
Oh this is sick. I loved this. Boats inside the sun. Excellent.
🥹 this means a lot! Thank you Ella 💙💙
Arresting image. Arresting story. Loved it.
Thank you so much, Rachel--this means a lot!!
I loved the metaphors of the last paragraph, as it describes beautifully what we feel about the world, how it can transcend our body or reality. The image of the yellow sea with boats made of leaves, as the room gets flooded, will stick in my mind. Congratulations on your first story!
Thank you for being such an astute and generous reader, Aaron!! 💙💙
Lovely image - perfect pairing.
thank you Tonya!
"Outside, night is giving up." That's going to live in my head awhile.
🥹 Thanks Chris! 💙
this is absolutely one of the most memorable pieces of flash fiction I’ve read. it was vivid, as though I was there too. also, I love how you talk about the artwork in relation to your story!
I mean, she’s pregnant, right?
Oh... how.... quietly ferocious. The way the secret keeps trying to surface while intimacy keeps misfiring = delicious. The egg-as-planet image is unreal, tender and ominous, like something sacred and suspect being smuggled into the bed. I love how the ending doesn’t explain so much as lift, ceiling cracking, body filling with light, feels less like revelation and more like inevitability. Soft voice, huge consequences. Gorgeous and unsettling in exactly the right way. Thanks for sharing.