I loved the metaphors of the last paragraph, as it describes beautifully what we feel about the world, how it can transcend our body or reality. The image of the yellow sea with boats made of leaves, as the room gets flooded, will stick in my mind. Congratulations on your first story!
Can I tell you a secret? I owe my employer 30 minutes of work because I read your piece right before clocking in from lunch and I spent half an hour rereading and thinking about it, spreadsheets be damned!
One gem:
of the women that inhabit that world, long twisting hair braided down their back shimmering like eels below the water
Dreamlike yet precise. As another commenter mentioned, it feels cinematic.
Like a scene in a movie. So expressive.
Oh wow, thank you Kylee!!
Oh this is sick. I loved this. Boats inside the sun. Excellent.
🥹 this means a lot! Thank you Ella 💙💙
Arresting image. Arresting story. Loved it.
Thank you so much, Rachel--this means a lot!!
I loved the metaphors of the last paragraph, as it describes beautifully what we feel about the world, how it can transcend our body or reality. The image of the yellow sea with boats made of leaves, as the room gets flooded, will stick in my mind. Congratulations on your first story!
Thank you for being such an astute and generous reader, Aaron!! 💙💙
Lovely image - perfect pairing.
thank you Tonya!
"Outside, night is giving up." That's going to live in my head awhile.
🥹 Thanks Chris! 💙
Oh wow oh wow oh wow thank you substack for putting this in my feed
Can I tell you a secret? I owe my employer 30 minutes of work because I read your piece right before clocking in from lunch and I spent half an hour rereading and thinking about it, spreadsheets be damned!
One gem:
of the women that inhabit that world, long twisting hair braided down their back shimmering like eels below the water
Dreamlike yet precise. As another commenter mentioned, it feels cinematic.
I'm in for reading more of your work, well done!
This is so beautiful 🥹
I’m sure I’m exposing my ignorance, but I feel I should know what the thing is.
On the other hand, maybe it’s supposed to be mysterious - which it is.
Either way, it most certainly has what most stories don’t, and that’s depth.
Your writing is descriptive, yes - but, “poetic” is how I would describe it.
And the tie-in with the painting is a really cool component.
That is to say, the whole damn thing is fantastic.
Congratulations.
🙂
Gorgeous 🩷